Revise & Consent

Off The Menu: Mallo Cups

Back in the day, I had a friend on my street who bought these cavity bombs by the case just to collect the “Play Money” point cards inside, which he’d mail in to Boyer for chintzy prizes… or more Mallo Cups.

Me, I preferred Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (half of my ritual candy-tandem purchase with Snickers, which I still occasionally go for when I’m jonesing for a choco-fix).
Mallo Cups with Play Money point card
Just looking at the packaging makes what’s left of my natural teeth hurt.

Hoxton Street Monster Supplies

Serving an apparent though not visibly obvious (to the unsuspecting mortal, human eye, that is) need.

What we don’t know or see can’t hurt us, though, right?

Right…? (via)

Photo of a can of Heebie Geebies (chewy candies), from Hoxton Street Monster Supplies, in London. (Photo: Hoxton Street Monster Supplies)

Induces an immediate, tangible and most marvellous sensation of the Heebie-Jeebies, quickly relieving all cases of Well-Being, Joy, Warmth and General Happiness. An agreeable substitute to the Collywobbles; may contain traces of mild peril. Contains boiled sweets and “The Heebie-Jeebies” by David Nicholls, a specially commissioned short story exclusive to Hoxton Street Monster Supplies.

Our marvellously strong Fang Floss is invaluable in cleaning where traditional sticks and brushes can’t reach, removing all common forms of fang-matter, including: brains, gore, bones, viscera, entrails, seaweed, toffee, and much more. Ideal for the 21st Century monster who believes chomping through flesh and bone shouldn’t have to put a crimp on post-mauling socialising. This spool can be carried easily in a pocket or a pouch, leaving both hands free to floss.

(Images: Hoxton Street Monster Supplies)

“Newlyweds” (Spec TV Commercial for Skittles) - Cousins

Sure, you can taste the rainbow. But will you swallow? NSFW. (via)

Zillow Ranks 20 Best Cities To Trick-Or-Treat

Halloween candy bucket with candy, a bag of Starbucks Coffee, and a Salmon. Seattle ranked #1 in Trick or Treat Cities.
Chicago came in at a respectable #7. Los Angeles, a measly #14. Any idea who took #1…? (via)

Off The Menu: Affy Tapple

In the fall, a young man’s fancy turns to apples, caramel and chopped peanuts… on a stick.

The company’s original storefront on Chicago’s Clark Street was a giant-size fishbowl of chewy, nutty goodness for nearly fifty years.
Packing for Chicago-based snack maker Affy Tapple, featuring a caramel apple covered in peanuts

“Snickers Halloween Grocery Store Lady” Commercial (2010)

Creeps me the fuck out (yes, that’s a kid’s face popping out of her nether region area), though I’m quite confident there will be no lasting, tangible impact on my undying love for Snickers, which do satisfy.

Like Crack...

Photo of two rolls of Smarties candies.
For me, it started during Halloween, 1974. It hasn’t stopped. Buy them by the 1-pound bag. Eat them all. Buy another bag…

If there is a Smarties Anonymous, I will not join. Ever.

Washington Post: Peeps Show III

Reader-created dioramas featuring that beloved ~~Easter~~ all-season treat and dental nemesis, the marshmallow Peep®. Be sure to check out WaPo slideshow of the top entries. Can you say “too much free time…”?

Washington Post Peeps Show 3 Winner: Nightpeeps by Melissa Harvey

“Nightpeeps” - Melissa Harvey’s winning entry.