Posts tagged comedy writing

- You kind of have his build, you know. That’s what I liked when I was young — to feel a man’s weight. Helps you forget your troubles.


- That’s right. A lot of women today, they don’t appreciate heft.

Local Woman and Ray, from Bored to Death (Season 2, Ep. 6 – “The Case of the Grievous Clerical Error!”)
Oh, I was just remembering how normal your vagina used to look, compared to now… It’s like an open-faced reuben.
Dr. Owen Maestro, from Childrens Hospital (Season 2, Episode 1)
You don’t loan Jason anything, anything that can be inserted.
Jerry Seinfeld, from Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season 7, Episode 9: “The Table Read”)
Good God, Lemon, your breath. When did you find time to eat a diaper that you found on the beach?
Jack Donaghy, from 30 Rock (Season 4, Episode 3: “Stone Mountain”)

LIZ: Hey, before you hear crazy rumors and start believing them, the gibbon did not attack Jenna. He was trying to mate with her face.

JACK: What?

LIZ: Nothing. Everyone’s fine.

30 Rock