Posts tagged tv comedy

VICE DEAN LAYBOURNE: Your 24 hours has expired. I need an answer, Troy. Are you ready to join the elite brotherhood of guys who fix air conditioners?

TROY: I’m sorry, Vice Dean, but… I realize no one’s better than anyone else. Some people are better at sports — and then there are magicians — but… I was put on this earth to do something… else.

VICE DEAN LAYBOURNE: So you’re going to be, what, a plumber?

TROY: No, I’m not going to be a plumber either, because they have to deal with poop.

from Community (Season 3, Ep. 6 — “Advanced Gay”)
We have a variety of all liquors served in strange containers. We are packed with celebrities— the fun ones. We also have cock fights and strippers. And guess what…? We don’t have a sign, so good luck finding the place. But if you do, you’ll be lucky because we’ve also got donkey shows, Motley Crüe and cake.
Frank Reynolds, in his “virus” video for Paddy’s Pub, on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 7, Ep. — “The Anti-Social Network”)

This Week’s Canceled DVR “Season Passes”

With a new Fall TV season, it’s only fair:

  • 2 Broke Girls - Comedically bankrupt.
  • The Playboy Club - NBC saved me the trouble.
  • Free Agents - And now, so are the talented leads after NBC pulled the plug. Perhaps the original UK version will be funnier on BBC America.
  • Whitney - Star also co-created the aforementioned 2 Broke Girls. ‘Nuff said.
  • Up All Night - Put it to bed, please. Or maybe to sleep.
  • Charlie’s Angels - No Farrah = No, thank you.
  • Unforgettable - Quickly became forgettable in the cookie-cutter morass that is the CBS police procedural.
  • Terra Nova - I enjoyed it more when it was Land of the Lost.
You’ve had a rough morning? Try pulling twin boys out of a tight little Asian gal. She wasn’t Asian-American, Ryan, she was real Asian. I had to do so much slicing and dicing down there, it looked like a goddamn Benihana.
Kristen, from Wilfred (Season 1, Ep. 1 - “Happiness”)

Aaron Sorkin Guests on 30Rock

The Studio 60 jab is perfect. Scene pretty much nails the writer’s increasingly more underfoot position in the grand scheme of scripted entertainment in Hollywood. Laughed so hard, it hurt.

Because it hurts.

It smells like a waffle house sink.
Troy, from Community (Season 2, Ep. 8 - “Cooperative Calligraphy”)

- You kind of have his build, you know. That’s what I liked when I was young — to feel a man’s weight. Helps you forget your troubles.


- That’s right. A lot of women today, they don’t appreciate heft.

Local Woman and Ray, from Bored to Death (Season 2, Ep. 6 – “The Case of the Grievous Clerical Error!”)
I see Sebastian put up some banners… I do hope you’re kidding. It looks like shit. What the hell’s he doing, printing that from a JPEG? Motherfucker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. My face looks all computery and damn pixellated.
Kenny Powers, from Eastbound & Down (Season 2, Ep. 2 - “Chapter 8”)
This is all I know how to do, Doc. I don’t fish. I don’t golf. I fight fires. And I eat cake. So, you take away the fires and, I promise you… Three weeks… a month, tops… I will be dead due to cake-related injuries. Can you live with that?

Lt. Ken “Lou” Shea, from Rescue Me (Season 6, Ep. 10 - “A.D.D.”)

The good lines come few and far between, as the once crackling hot series sputters and cools on its way to the finish line next year.

Oh, I was just remembering how normal your vagina used to look, compared to now… It’s like an open-faced reuben.
Dr. Owen Maestro, from Childrens Hospital (Season 2, Episode 1)